Today I experienced my first German Funeral.
I met Steffi and Steven at a wedding 3 yrs ago. Steffi had spent time in New Zealand and for some reason she and I just clicked. She had two beautiful little boys one just out of diapers and the other still very new to the world. Steven, her husband, was a musician, artist - drummer. One of those people who simple have more energy and 'Life' then seems humanly possible. In the evening his band played and it was awesome!
I was totally surprised to hear afterwards that Steven had cancer. He had had it for over 2 yrs had been through Chemo, was in remission but no one really new what to think.
Steffi and I did not stay in touch, although I saw them occasionally at parties and through mutual friends would hear news... Steven's cancer had come back,... he was now in a wheelchair, ... the doctors had done all they could... he would not get better.
Six weeks ago I went away for the weekend with four very good girl friends and Steffi came with us and once again we hit it off immediately. We spent much of the weekend talking about 'God and the world' (as you say in German.) Steven had been at home for a long while and two weeks before the weekend away they had decided it was time for him to go to hospice care. We talked quite a bit about all of that as well.
After getting home from our weekend away Steffi and I promptly made plans with on another and have continued to get together for dinners or sitting in the park while the boys play. It has quickly become a friendship that I cherish very much. Life got busy the last two weeks and although I have thought about Steffi daily for the last week, it was not until yesterday afternoon that I finally called.
And learned that Steven Garling, age 39, father of two, incredible talented artist, devoted husband and deeply thinking Christian had died at 4am on May 21st. Steffi asked if I would come to the service and if I could take over responsibility for the kitchen at the reception afterwards.
So, I canceled my appointments for today and from 1-9pm was allowed the gift of being a part of a beautiful memorial service.
Steffi and the boys had painted the plain pine casket - it was covered with clouds and birds, with pirate ships and tropical islands. The service itself was held at the cemetery, guests brought flowers to drop on the casket once it was in the grave and everyone - all 500 or so of us - processed by the grave to toss handfuls of dirt and say good-bye, while a quartet played music and the children played on the grass near the grave.
It was a beautiful and moving experience. As was the reception/celebration afterwards.
I keep thinking what an amazing gift life is and how none of us know how long we have on this earth. I want to write on my wall where I will see it everyday: Don't waste this time Micah. Live and Love and Dream and pursue your dreams. Forgive. Move on when things are hard, Let go of each and every yesterday.
Steven Garling was a man who lived his life - he really lived it. He took risks, dared to be different - and he was - and so completely himself - far, far from perfect. But so what? His friends, his family, his wife and children KNEW him, because he allowed himself to be known and they love him for who he was and who he is.
My heart aches tonight for Steffanie, Stanley and Stuart ...
but also for the so very many of us on this earth who will die without having really lived. All of us who get so wrapped up in jobs and worries, in troubles and fears that we forget life has been given to us by God to be lived - and lived abundantly. We are each so unique, so very much ourselves and yet we forget that that is a good thing, that our unique perspectives and talents are needed on this earth.
I met Steffi and Steven at a wedding 3 yrs ago. Steffi had spent time in New Zealand and for some reason she and I just clicked. She had two beautiful little boys one just out of diapers and the other still very new to the world. Steven, her husband, was a musician, artist - drummer. One of those people who simple have more energy and 'Life' then seems humanly possible. In the evening his band played and it was awesome!
I was totally surprised to hear afterwards that Steven had cancer. He had had it for over 2 yrs had been through Chemo, was in remission but no one really new what to think.
Steffi and I did not stay in touch, although I saw them occasionally at parties and through mutual friends would hear news... Steven's cancer had come back,... he was now in a wheelchair, ... the doctors had done all they could... he would not get better.
Six weeks ago I went away for the weekend with four very good girl friends and Steffi came with us and once again we hit it off immediately. We spent much of the weekend talking about 'God and the world' (as you say in German.) Steven had been at home for a long while and two weeks before the weekend away they had decided it was time for him to go to hospice care. We talked quite a bit about all of that as well.
After getting home from our weekend away Steffi and I promptly made plans with on another and have continued to get together for dinners or sitting in the park while the boys play. It has quickly become a friendship that I cherish very much. Life got busy the last two weeks and although I have thought about Steffi daily for the last week, it was not until yesterday afternoon that I finally called.
And learned that Steven Garling, age 39, father of two, incredible talented artist, devoted husband and deeply thinking Christian had died at 4am on May 21st. Steffi asked if I would come to the service and if I could take over responsibility for the kitchen at the reception afterwards.
So, I canceled my appointments for today and from 1-9pm was allowed the gift of being a part of a beautiful memorial service.
Steffi and the boys had painted the plain pine casket - it was covered with clouds and birds, with pirate ships and tropical islands. The service itself was held at the cemetery, guests brought flowers to drop on the casket once it was in the grave and everyone - all 500 or so of us - processed by the grave to toss handfuls of dirt and say good-bye, while a quartet played music and the children played on the grass near the grave.
It was a beautiful and moving experience. As was the reception/celebration afterwards.
I keep thinking what an amazing gift life is and how none of us know how long we have on this earth. I want to write on my wall where I will see it everyday: Don't waste this time Micah. Live and Love and Dream and pursue your dreams. Forgive. Move on when things are hard, Let go of each and every yesterday.
Steven Garling was a man who lived his life - he really lived it. He took risks, dared to be different - and he was - and so completely himself - far, far from perfect. But so what? His friends, his family, his wife and children KNEW him, because he allowed himself to be known and they love him for who he was and who he is.
My heart aches tonight for Steffanie, Stanley and Stuart ...
but also for the so very many of us on this earth who will die without having really lived. All of us who get so wrapped up in jobs and worries, in troubles and fears that we forget life has been given to us by God to be lived - and lived abundantly. We are each so unique, so very much ourselves and yet we forget that that is a good thing, that our unique perspectives and talents are needed on this earth.
1 comment:
What a moving tribute to your friends. It touched me so deeply, as we continue to grieve for our 27 year old nephew who died in March, as well as a vibrant aunt who died of an aggressive cancer just weeks ago at age 63. Life is a gift.
Blessings~ Margie
Post a Comment