Funerals and Friends

http://www.stevengarling.com/seiten/musik/presse_en.html

Today I experienced my first German Funeral.

I met Steffi and Steven at a wedding 3 yrs ago. Steffi had spent time in New Zealand and for some reason she and I just clicked. She had two beautiful little boys one just out of diapers and the other still very new to the world. Steven, her husband, was a musician, artist - drummer. One of those people who simple have more energy and 'Life' then seems humanly possible. In the evening his band played and it was awesome!

I was totally surprised to hear afterwards that Steven had cancer. He had had it for over 2 yrs had been through Chemo, was in remission but no one really new what to think.

Steffi and I did not stay in touch, although I saw them occasionally at parties and through mutual friends would hear news... Steven's cancer had come back,... he was now in a wheelchair, ... the doctors had done all they could... he would not get better.

Six weeks ago I went away for the weekend with four very good girl friends and Steffi came with us and once again we hit it off immediately. We spent much of the weekend talking about 'God and the world' (as you say in German.) Steven had been at home for a long while and two weeks before the weekend away they had decided it was time for him to go to hospice care. We talked quite a bit about all of that as well.

After getting home from our weekend away Steffi and I promptly made plans with on another and have continued to get together for dinners or sitting in the park while the boys play. It has quickly become a friendship that I cherish very much. Life got busy the last two weeks and although I have thought about Steffi daily for the last week, it was not until yesterday afternoon that I finally called.

And learned that Steven Garling, age 39, father of two, incredible talented artist, devoted husband and deeply thinking Christian had died at 4am on May 21st. Steffi asked if I would come to the service and if I could take over responsibility for the kitchen at the reception afterwards.
So, I canceled my appointments for today and from 1-9pm was allowed the gift of being a part of a beautiful memorial service.

Steffi and the boys had painted the plain pine casket - it was covered with clouds and birds, with pirate ships and tropical islands. The service itself was held at the cemetery, guests brought flowers to drop on the casket once it was in the grave and everyone - all 500 or so of us - processed by the grave to toss handfuls of dirt and say good-bye, while a quartet played music and the children played on the grass near the grave.

It was a beautiful and moving experience. As was the reception/celebration afterwards.

I keep thinking what an amazing gift life is and how none of us know how long we have on this earth. I want to write on my wall where I will see it everyday: Don't waste this time Micah. Live and Love and Dream and pursue your dreams. Forgive. Move on when things are hard, Let go of each and every yesterday.

Steven Garling was a man who lived his life - he really lived it. He took risks, dared to be different - and he was - and so completely himself - far, far from perfect. But so what? His friends, his family, his wife and children KNEW him, because he allowed himself to be known and they love him for who he was and who he is.

My heart aches tonight for Steffanie, Stanley and Stuart ...
but also for the so very many of us on this earth who will die without having really lived. All of us who get so wrapped up in jobs and worries, in troubles and fears that we forget life has been given to us by God to be lived - and lived abundantly. We are each so unique, so very much ourselves and yet we forget that that is a good thing, that our unique perspectives and talents are needed on this earth.

A Sunday in May

Today was a beautiful day! A Sunday of work and play.

Here is a rundown of a Sunday in Berlin -

7am: Alarm rings. A little early for my taste but I want to run over my sermon one last time before church.

10:30am - The text:
Hear O Israel! Jaweh is your God (Elohim). Jaweh is One.
That is why, you shall love your God with all your heart (the center of your being, from which you feel and think), with all your soul (the breath in your body - your life-energy) and with all your Strength (physical strength as well as your Will, your Intention.)

In the sermon I focused on how this verse, which we find in the NT in Jesus' mouth and which is the credo of Jewish faith, was completely radical when it was first written. A little known fact for most Christians: there was a time when Israel was Not monotheistic. They, along with all the nations in the area, worshiped many gods - a god (male and female) for each of life's needs - many gods to pay attention to, to worry about, to give glory and honor to. Must have been hard work - having to be so split in their allegiance between multiple deities.
This idea of many gods was such a normal thing that the word for 'God' in the AT - Elohim - is plural. There was no way to say a God, unless you used the name of a particular God.

And then we find this passage: Hear O Israel Jaweh is your Elohim and Jaweh is One. Not many but one. Jaweh, is YOUR God and Jaweh is ONE. How revolutionary this must have sounded in the ears of the Israelites. One God in control of everything. One God to trust and love. One God who has given himself to Israel. And as we believe, not just Israel.

And then that wonderful second sentence: That is why or because of this...you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength. Because God is one, we too are called to be One. Whole people. United in body, mind and Intention. Not split and pulled in our allegiance - but united within ourselves.

We live in a time and a culture where it is normal to cut ourselves in pieces, in our attempt to be everything for everyone, to fulfill the many roles which each of us have - we ripe ourselves apart. We even speak in this way (particularly here in Germany) we talk about our emotions as completely separate from our decisions, our thoughts on one side and our feelings on the other, our responsibilities here -- our dreams there, our health here -- our happiness there, our faith here -- our sexuality there, ...
Martin Luther said: The thing you hang your heart on, that is your God. But we have cut our hearts into many pieces and have hung little bits of heart on so many things... can we really claim to worship just one God?

And again this verse: Your God - in whose Image you are made - is One. Therefore, love your God with all of yourself. God desires us whole, united in our being and our worship. Not for his sake but for ours! And are we? Or our we content trying to hold ourselves together, pulled in 100 directions?

God could have chosen to show himself to us with many faces, Jesus could have been a Hindi - the message being: I am many. BUT he wasn't. God chose to be incarnate in a Jew. A man who himself probably prayed this prayer twice a day: Hear O Israel, The Lord your God is One.

OK. enough sermon for all of you.

11am - The other very big thing for me today:for the first time in my life I am responsible for Holy Communion. I have thought all week about Ken B. saying to me: Invite the people to Christ's table, welcome them, the way you welcome us in your home, then they will see Jesus. I was nervous, it felt like a big new step for me and yet since Gerhard couldn't be there it fell to me so naturally that no one else seemed to blink twice. And it was wonderful. It felt so right to say: Come and taste the goodness of the Lord. It also had such a natural connection to the sermon - another example that our faith is not supposed to be matter of thought or words alone, but of body - of getting up and tasting and chewing, and of heart and mind.

12:30 - Gerhard has had another disk give out in his back and is out sick for the next two months. So, after church we elders met to talk about how we will fill in for him the next 8 weeks. This is maybe the second or third time ever that Gerhard has said to his elders, I don't need to be there, you guys will be fine without me. It is testimony to the trust and wonderful 'one-heart-and-mind-ness of the church these days. Not that we all agree with one another all the time - not at all - but we are very much on the same page, and that too feels really right.

While we met outside in the sun, eating bread with salami and drinking the wine and orange juice, I held the 3 mon old son of friend and fellow elder Trixi Witte (wife of Mark Witte, Gerhard's oldest son.) I love holding little Willy - he is so beautiful, but there is always a piece of my heart that aches in those moments for a child of my own.

14:30 - Trixi invited me home with her for the afternoon. (Lunch - liver and potatoes - well you cant have everything. And I did eat all of my liver, it is just a matter of cutting it into very little pieces with LOTS of potatoes in each bite.)

15:30 - Suse and Tobias Radig and their kids arrived with Felix and Franzi Witte and their son (making it 3 of the Witte kids with families - for those who are newer to my life - i lived with the Wittes when I was 18, so we have all known each other now for over 15yrs.) We sat in the garden and drank coffee, ate ice cream, talked and laughed.

16:30 - A Sunday walk to the park: 7 adults and 5 kids.

18:30 - I got home exhausted, fulfilled and happy. Played with Moses and made myself a salad for dinner while watching Criminal Minds (love that show!) on the Internet before doing a little homework.

23:00 - Homework not quite done, but too tired to continue. I head to bed and sett the alarm for 6:10.

That was my day - A sunday in May. Lovely, huh?
What did you do yesterday?

Jumping high and finding a place

As I began this blog Moses, my cat, had just jumped onto the top of my 7 ft dresser and climbed onto the box, on top of the box on top of that dresser. He looked awfully proud of himself.

I thought maybe there is a lesson to be learned in that - something like: even the most well known environments can present new challenges and adventures for us if we seek them out.
But to be honest, that sounds a little exhausting to me right now.

In fact, I am totally enjoying the lack of adventure in my life at the moment.

Six weeks ago I took a flying leap onto a relatively high dresser of my own and began a new program at a new University. Due to the last three years of Theology training I was able to transfer in to a class of students who have been together for awhile. Although I had really been looking forward to the change, which itself was the answer to many passionate prayers, it has been a hard adjustment.
I tend to underestimate the impact of transitions on my soul - I guess I figure I should be used to them by now. (You wouldn't expect a Mt. climber to get vertigo now would you?)
None the less, adjusting to a new schedule (namely me - a VERY not am person - needing to get up at 6:10, 4 days a week), a new commute (over an hour on the train), a new neighborhood, new learning environment - with different values and norms then I have been used to, and new people has taken quite a toll on my energy level these past weeks.

At the end of last week however, I realized with a bit of delight that I am feeling much more settled, I am liking the new people more and beginning to feel like I have a place in their midst. Along with that came the wonderful realization I am learning things - and not just any old things - but things I really feel like I need to learn.

For an example, Friday I had a 4 hr class in Church planting&growing where we looked at both traditional American evangelical theories and theories particular to the German State-church. I recognized the theories, the American ones exist in me under the category 'The way its always been done' and the German ones which I have seen in action and find in my category 'Why would you do it like that?' It is so wonderful to have the opportunity to confront these prejudices within myself and think through the pro's and con's of both. My hope and prayer is to come to an understanding of the best mix of ways that fix our particular situation here in Berlin. So, I walked out of class last Friday thinking - I am so glad I am here, this is totally where I am supposed to be. I love that feeling, it seems to be the ultimate blessing I wish I had it more often.

Moses has come down and settles down for a nap in his favorite spot (which happens to be my most often used suitcase) and I think this is more a message for me these days: You can do all the adventuring and jumping and climbing you want, but it is just as important to have a place where you can settle and snuggle into - a place you know you are welcome.

So, that is school and why I am liking the feeling of settling in and glad the feeling of major adventure is waning a bit for the time being.

Of course, life is a balance of the two, which I why yesterday Mom and I (Mommy, is here visiting for 4 days - so very wonderful!) took a train trip to a little town 3hrs south east of Berlin to visit friends of mine and check things out. We had a wonderful time! I will leave you with a picture of that and wish you a wonderful night!!

M

Confirmation Day

(Apology given up front - spell check isnt working!)

I just returned from the Confirmaiton Service of 6 of my youth group from the Felsen Church. It was a lovely service and I got to speak the Blessing over them, which I was very honored to do.

Confirmation is an interesting social phenominon in Germany. Maybe it is in certain places in the US too - I have only been exposed to it here. I remember the Cincenera's (sp?) of some of my latina classmates in So Cal. It's like that here.
For most families it is more of a ritual of becoming an adult then something particularly religious. Most youth look forward to confrimation becuase they get to by thier first suit and tie or fancy dress and are given heaps of gifts.

In the end, for many youth, the cerimony which is meant to be welcoming them into the Church, ussures them out of it. After two year of Confirmation classes for over half of the youth confirmed, today will be there last contact with church, until they choose to have thier own babies baptized. As I congratulated one young woman durring the service, who comes from a very difficult and sad family, she said to me smiling sadly, "Well, good-bye then."

Christian Reich (the Paster) works hard against that, both before Confirmation and durring the service trying to remind everyone over and over again that this is about a personal relationship to God through Jesus. But it is questionable how many people really hear or remember that message.

I will try to post a picture of confirmation when I find one.

Today is sunny, with big puffy animal clouds in the sky, which always remind me of my childhood. After writing this I will spend the next few hours finishing my sermon for tomorrow. Its a weekend full of church services! Ok, just wanted to sett down on paper (screen) a little bit about Confirmation.
I do so very hope that these wonderful 6 youth will remain in the Church and in my life - I have enjoyed them very much and am excited to see the Men and Women they will become! With that I wish you all a great weekend!!

As I said to the youth today:
May God who knows you intamitly and loves you dearly, remind you every day of the Freedom you have in Christ - Freedom to be who you were created to be without worrying what others will think or giving into the social preasures, Freedom to begin each day anew with Him. May Jesus, who walks alongside you, guide you on your life's path and the Holy Spirit who lives in your hearts comfort and protect you in all things and give you Peace.

With love,
M